I realized this morning….early, early in the morning….that I have become someone very dependent on God’s provision. I feel safe, comfortable, and “strong” when I have ALL that I “need” and “want.” And of course, God is my provider. So, when someone hurts me or when my child doesn’t allow me the sleep I want….I quickly cry out to God to “save me!”, “give to me!” or “change them!” Ultimately, “provide for ME God.”

It struck me this morning that I’m surrounded by so many of his provisions…..SO MANY….that I’ve become blind to what He IS doing and HAS done and think He needs to do MORE for me and FAST.  In my moments of frazzled panic I run to his provisions (e.g. a sleeping child, a bigger home, no fighting) for comfort rather than running to His presence. His perfect presence.

Healing is found in his presence. I have to type that again, Healing is found in His presence.

I want to be known as Moses, who longed for God’s presence and experienced him fully. Not as a wandering Israelite that never knew the sweet presence of God and whined and complained for his provisions…..I want to truly say, that with NOTHING, I am full. I don’t want to long for the promised land, I want to long to worship Him. That. Is. Where. IT. is. at! There’s no place I’d rather be……

Written by Lesley

Jesus first. Homeschooling, stay at home Mom of 5 boys. Dodger of nerf darts, and finder of all things missing.


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