There’s a list of sayings that parents have heard or said – here are a few that I have tried to cut from my parenting methods and lips:
“Do as I say not as I do.”
If I may be completely and obviously blunt… this phrase is reckless. Your child is going to do what you do. No matter how many times you say not to… God has given you them to train them… for them to follow. Now, if you ask for forgiveness, make right a wrong, be honest, transparent and loving – they will learn that as well.
“Because I said so.”
* Lesley and I went to a conference where the speaker did a great job of speaking to parents and the home / authority setting. Teach your kids to obey first – if they must know why after they have obeyed then make them “wise” with the reasons why.
“Do you want to..”
* don’t ask your child if they want to help set the table, if they are tired or need a nap… be the parent.
At face value… do YOU want to wash the dishes, do the laundry, mow the law (when it’s 90 degrees), etc.
“Why did you..”
*hit your brother / sister
* break ______
Your child doesn’t know why… much less have the ability to explain to you why (or why they can’t explain to you why) they did something wrong. They acted on selfishness. Plain and simple. They need to know what they did was wrong, be disciplined (if appropriate) and if it was an accident… affirm them and teach them we make mistakes as humans and learn from accidents.
That is my list off the top of my head… I say a lot more things as a parent in the heat of the moment(s) that are probably best not said. But what about you? What are things you have heard other parents say (don’t name names), or better yet… you have caught yourself saying that might not be the best method of teaching?
Soon we’ll post things we say or are trying to say which help and teach them for the better! (Feel free to send us your thoughts / methods).
provision or presence by Lesley
fill up with the right stuff by Jason
Guest Posts – by some of our good friends